A Brimful of Asha (on the 45)…

 

Ever wonder what that song title meant?  So did I!  To be honest this all too catchy tune kind of
annoyed me back in the day… but more later! Like an old fashioned DJ I seamlessly
link to the fact that in a few months’ time I’m coming to the ripe old age of
45. So at this point in my life is the glass half full of half empty?
I reflect on my history like most people I guess.  I have had seasons that I have loved, alongside
chapters that I didn’t and which are tainted with regret and disappointments.  One of the darkest chapters you could entitle
‘Obese with anxiety’.  Throughout my life
anxiety has consistently harassed me and claimed ground it didn’t own.  To compensate I drew comfort and friendship in
food.  This was not a friend and he didn’t
come alone.  With it came obesity and
over recent years has come health issues. I regret not fighting anxiety harder,
not keeping more ridged boundaries and I guess not having more respect for
myself and my body.  Truth is but I was often
lost like a rudderless ship in the dark of night.
Recently a number of events have made me think, does this
chapter have to be open ended?  Can this
chapter not know closure? 12 years ago I started this blog as a way to record
my journey towards victory. 410 posts later I am still doing battle.
Getting back to ‘A brimful of Asha’, Asha means ‘hope’
and hope I still hold. My big mate ‘Puff Daddy’ has recently got me to return
to Slimming World. For a few months now I’ve wanted to drift but like a tug
boat he has been gently nudging this ship back on course and hopefully one day
we will arrive into harbour.   His
patience, support and the occasional kick up the rear has inspired me, underlining how important friendship is.
God has graciously poured new light onto this darkness
and I believe I am now better equipped than ever to move forward.  From today onwards I want a new chapter to
start and this old one to finally end and end for good.  I want more adventures in every sphere of
life, I want to holistically stretch, breathe and grow.  So here’s to 45, may it bring with it a new song
and may the Lord restore to me that which has been stolen or damaged.

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